Being brave enough to do a portrait session

Ohhhh this one? This is my favourite flavour of human.

I am this human.

“Should I book a styled portrait shoot?”

“Yes.”

“But what if I hate how I look?”

“You won’t.”

“But what if I feel awkward?”

“You will. For five minutes. Then you’ll forget.”

And then… silence.

A week later: “I chickened out.”

Ah yes. The ancient art of Almost Doing The Thing That You Wanna Do But Don’t.

Let me tell you something wildly unsexy and deeply comforting - I am the Queen of Chicken. I have been the Queen of Chicken for so long I have built entire palaces out of “maybe later, next time, perhaps next month.” Especially with my photography business. Especially when it meant being visible. Especially when it meant risking being a failure.

There is nothing quite like deciding to do something bold…Only to immediately follow it up with a full-blown internal TED Talk on Why You Should Absolutely Not Do The Thing.

You know the cacophony of voices whispering: “Who do you think you are?” “You are not good enough.” “People will judge you.” “You know you can’t do it.”

And because we are clever women, we can rationalise ourselves out of absolutely anything.

So we don’t book the shoot.

We don’t start the project.

We don’t wear the outfit.

We don’t show up as the full, expressive, creatively undiluted version of ourselves.

Enter the deep burn of regret.

Not dramatic regret. Not movie-level sobbing in the rain.

Just that quiet persistent dull ache. The type of thoughts that traverse inside your brain at 2am in the morning.

The “I wish I had.”

The “Maybe next year.”

The “When I lose five kilos.”

The “When I feel more confident.”

Spoiler alert: confidence is not something you wait for. It’s something you build by doing slightly terrifying things while your knees are wobbling and a gut full of fear.

Styled portrait shoots aren’t about vanity. They’re about permission.

Permission to:

Be seen. Take up space. Dress up.

Be soft or bold or moody or outrageously over-the-top.

Capture who you are right now — not the edited, future, improved version.

And yes, you will feel awkward for the first ten minutes. Everyone does. Even the women who look like they were born knowing their angles. Even the ones who say, “Oh I’m so awkward” while casually serving goddess energy and slaying the room.

Here’s the truth no one tells you:

The awkwardness is the doorway.

On the other side of it? Power. Play. Ownership. A version of you that remembers she is allowed to exist in photographs without apologising.

I’ve talked myself out of so many brave moves in my life. Business ideas. Creative risks. Showing my own face more. And every single time I backed out, I felt that familiar sting of seeing someone else boldly step up and step out while I stood sheepishly to the side holding my clipboard of ideas and dreams.

It is exhausting being your own judge, jury and executioner.

So I’ll make you a deal.

If you book the shoot - the one you keep hovering over like it’s a red button that might launch missiles - then I will do the scary thing I’ve been avoiding. The thing that makes my stomach drop, my pits sweat and my brain list seventeen reasons to wait.

We can be brave together.

Not fearless. Not perfectly poised. Not glowing with unshakeable self-belief.

Just brave enough.

Brave enough to say:

“This is me. As I am. Right now. No disclaimers. LET’S GO”

Because here’s the slightly dark but very true thought: we don’t get infinite drafts at this life. There is no magical future version of you who finally feels “ready.” There is only you - gloriously imperfect, creative, complex, soft and strong - standing at the edge of something that might change how you see yourself and help you love yourself just that little bit more.

Rach x